Twas raining last night when Those In Authority came up with the bright idea of joining the communal Qi Gong group at the park outside Sri York.
I went there rather eager, because I hadn't the vaguest idea what Qi Gong was. I mean, obviously i knew its one of those Chinese slow-moving activity type things patronised mainly by the elderly generation, but i walked into that community centre largely unaware of what would become of me.
I went because i figured it might be a good workout opportunity; a chance to lose some of my subcutaneous layer so to speak.
I ended up learning that not all opportunities should be taken.
Qi Gong basically involves you standing still for a very long time in a very awkward position, so as to regulate the flow of your Qi. The Qi Gong position goes somewhat as follows:
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, facing a certain direction (i can't remember what direction. Apparently it changes according to season.)
Bend your knees, keeping your upper body erect and perpendicular to the ground.
Ensure that your tongue is pressing against your palate, so as to create a bridge for the Qi to flow.
Press your palms together and lift your arms so that your forearms are parallel to the floor. Squeeze your fingers tightly together, but leave your thumb so that it sticks out directly to your face. There should be a slight gap between your palms, and you should not be pressing them tightly.
Suck your stomach in and breathe with your chest.
Suck your anus in.
I'm dead serious about point number 6.
My mother was rather into the whole thing and rapidly set about getting herself in the right position. My father, fortunately, was slightly more apprehensive and watched his enthusiastic spouse with a rather cynical and horrified expression. He made this rather snide comment,
"After get a stroke and paralysed. Then go to hospitable looking like that."
With a constricted anus no less, mind you.
Bear this in mind next time you go to the botanical gardens and see a group of people in their 50s and onward standing absolutely still, poised and meditative.
Its not as easy as it looks.
posted @ 11:02 PM