Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Of all the blogs that I’ve frequented, most have come to The Post in which reflections, goodbyes and also Confessions :P have been written.
So yes. Now me.
I guess for me I’ve come to realise a great deal over the past two years. More streetwise you could say, but with still a long way to go. No more wearing my heart on my sleeve. Now it’s under my cuff.
Reflections over the past two years are mostly filled with memories, neither positive or negative, but just… remembering.
INTERJECTION: I must say that the most degrading thing in the world has got to be seeing twiglets (Twiggy piglets) like my sister working out their skinny bodies that contain more skin than flesh with a fervour that would make a fat man shudder. Makes you feel absolutely pathetic.
Ok. So back to the reflections. I really have learnt a lot. Lets just leave it at that before all my serious business gets out on the Serious Business Internet.
One of the lousiest things would be lying to one’s self. That’s like stabbing yourself with a knife and pretending not to feel it (hear ye emo children of the world). And yet there are times when the truth doesn’t seem to want to gel with who you are. It doesn’t quite work to half lie and half follow the whole “be who you are” philosophy. Think along the lines of grandma trying to wear grandma underpants (those glorious flags of cloth) while simultaneously attempting to stroll down the road. And then the people who chose to lie- they’re the ones who get that little 9-year-old voice in their head going, “My mommy told me not to tell lies.” It’s wrong. The Righteous look down on it. If you’re Chinese and you believe in the 18 levels of hell, there’s one entire level dedicated to the tongue cutting of liars. How about that for a warning.
This is how dilemma’s arise. And dilemma so happens to be a word that I learnt in the Sainted Chris when I was 8. Joy to the world.
Reflections down, now its goodbyes.
Goodbye.
For me, saying goodbye isn’t exactly a very sentimental time. I’m used to it. Abnormally impervious to it.
Missing people only occurs when you turn around in search of the familiarity of friendship/ a relationship only to find it gapingly absent. It reminds me rather of the moon. People never really seem to care about it unless its really big or gone. Or if it appears at 6 in the evening, in the case of Red Apple and my dad ("Oh carol look! The moon! THe moon! the moon! the moon! its so preeeetty" :p [the pretty part is Apple Red. not my dad. ])
I do however want to wish everybody all the best. Whether or not they're leaving. Still all the best.
i dunno... for me, just cos someone's leaving don't mean you gotta treat them any different. They're still the same person. You just won't see them as much anymore. If you're thinking i'm heartless, its not the first time i've heard that one :P but yeah. its just me. you be you.
Confessions. HA. lol. Frankly speaking, this falls under the category of Serious Business again. But i'll try to do things subtly.
1) i confess that i was extremely happy when i beat PUB in mocks for 7 subjects. I even remember that it's EXACTLY seven. SEVEN. hahah!
2) i confess that i'm not comfortable around big groups of people. It usually makes me retreat into myself. Which is why people think something's wrong when i'm silent but i'm just watching and listening to you guys. Seriously girls talk A LOT. :P
3) i confess that i've changed. Whether or not for the better i don't know and don't plan to pinpoint it.
4) i confess there were many more things that i could have done this year which i should have but didn't. Many things that i regret doing the way i did, some of which are too late to fix and others too old a wound to try scratching at again, a few gaping holes that only time can fill and thousands of trivialities that gently mould the character into what you are.
5) HAAAAA. i'm tired of sounding like a COnfucious.
"An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
So there. my 207th post. 206 is still in draft form seeing as i keep adding on to it so as to fulfill my numerical whim and win that one buck.
The things i do to better Manite :P
posted @ 3:46 AM
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